Invention and discovery

The line between invention and discovery is a very thin one. Particularly in our current milieu, where truth and reality are themselves uncertain notions. To me, the turning point happened at the turn of the 20th century, when two geniuses, I believe independently, discovered that we cannot separate what is really out there and what we perceive. In their own ways, they were equally influential - Einstein in the field of science, and Husserl in the fields of philosophy and the arts.

Of the two, Husserl was the elder but the impact of Einstein was, of course, more extensive. It has to do with our preoccupation with science and fantasy. The ideas of time travel and quarks are more concrete matters that engage the public's mind more easily. The impact of Husserl is, on the other hand, more subtle and perhaps more pervasive. We think differently today because of what he did but we do not realise that we owe it to him.

Despite this, however, there is a reality out there that is not of our making. The phenomenologists call it intersubjectivity. Call it what you will, but if we don't face up to this reality, global warming and other environmental disasters will soon knock us over the head.

Put simply, we need to distinguish between invention and discovery. Invention is of our making while discovery is what we can learn of God's making. How can we tell? I suggest there is this first and most simple difference. A discovery is something someone else can test for himself and find out if it is true or not. An invention is something that is true only because of the inventor.

Science is therefore a discipline of discovery while engineering is a discipline of invention. And if we compare the findings of science and what we can learn from engineering, we discover that science is always surprising while engineering is always explicable.

I want to suggest something further. Discovery, if we touch upon truth, will always reveal the divine intelligence. And this divine intelligence has certain characteristics: its laws are always simple, its consequences are always amazing, its forms are always beautiful, and while it can be appreciated by all, it is always beyond our understanding. Invention, however wonderful, can always be picked apart and understood. It is often complicated. Take for example a car, it is essentially an internal combustion engine. But there are so many other bits to it and each of the bits is there to solve a specific and particular problem. Take an animal, in contrast. On the surface, it appears simple. You can easily draw anaologies between the animal or human body and the car. But what makes an animal or a human being is not the body but the fact that they are alive. And the reason why they are alive is because they came from another living thing. The law is simple but beyond understanding. You can take this further and look at other aspects, like the fact that the living body can look after and heal itself while the car requires an external mechanic or owner to look after it. But these secondary facts stem from the primary and inexplicable fact, which is that living things are alive while machines are not. Any person with reasonable intelligence can become a mechanic, while it takes the best of us to become doctors, and we cannot even cure the common cold. Have you noticed how often the cures prescribed by our doctors require us to go home and rest? It is our bodies that do the curing, the medication only helps.

We may one day develop robots and computer programs that generate other robots and programs like itself. Do not be confused. These will be like our other inventions, poor copies of what we have discovered. Which is my final definition of the difference between discovery and invention: invention is often a pale copy of the original.

Take care of yourself, you are not an invention.

The art of growing old

It's been quite a week. Our maid left and we've been doing a spot of housework. Xin's practicing hard for her show this weekend. I've got a few new things going at work. And I broke a heart. I didn't know it could still happen at my age. And as always, with me, it was the last thing I meant to do. Still, I am sure she will recover, carry on with her life. Perhaps hating me. But that cannot be helped.

Young people today don't want to get married. And I understand why. I remember my grandmother. She loved me as only grandmothers could - selflessly, patiently and caringly. She taught me about God (it doesn't matter which religion you followed, there is God and he has placed a guardian angel 8 inches above my head to look after me), about wisdom (it is better to be wise than to be anything else, and knowledge is not wisdom), and she told me the story of Solomon. I don't know if she was a Christian. She never went to church but I don't remember her being all that faithful a Taoist either. Perhaps she was a free-thinker, but perhaps she is a Christian at heart but such things were frowned upon in those days.

The most significant memory I have of her was when she lied for me. I had taken a cousin's shoe and hid it and they couldn't find it afterwards. I was accused (someone saw me) but I denied it. Truly, I had forgotten I did it. She said she did it. It was an accident, she knocked against the shoe and it fell into a drain. She made me apologise and I did. I realised, even then, that it wasn't a punishment but that she saw a nobility in me I didn't have. Noble people own up.

It's hard to explain. I too didn't want to marry when I was young. And yet, marry I did. I didn't want to have children. And yet, a father I became. I wanted to be rich and successful. I am neither, although I am not doing that badly. I realise now that it is the former that is important to God - that I marry, have a child and learn to love - not the latter. The latter is just a bonus, something to satisfy my selfish cravings and ambitions. And it is just as well that they were not satisfied.

I know love hurts. And there has been many times I wish I could do things differently. And the process of humbling us, through our failures as a parent, a spouse, a child or a lover, is perhaps the most painful of all. Why? Why does it have to hurt so much? Why are we so useless in loving the people who are so close to our hearts?

I remember my grandmother and I wonder if there were lessons from her life that she wanted to tell me. She never did. She simply encouraged me in everything I wanted to do. I wanted to paint - here is some money, buy your paint, go. I stayed out late - she waited and didn't scold. There were no questions, no recriminations, no lessons to learn. I wanted to go overseas - go. I have no money - never mind, borrow from your uncle, he will give it to you. Go do it.

I made my mistakes. Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she share her wisdom with me? Everything she taught me, I learnt before I was 8. By the time I was a teenager, it was all up to me. I was surely too young then to know so much about life. But she never told me, never taught me. She was just there. I could have gotten into bad company and taken drugs. Actually, I did. She never stopped me nor tried to save me. How did she know I will be alright?

And so today, I learnt that the greatest wisdom of all is to let go. Our children will make the mistakes we make - maybe more, maybe less. We cannot protect them, not even from the mistakes we made. They are not listening. Even the kindest advice is unwelcome nagging. The lessons I learnt are for me and all I can hope for is that I learnt them well. If I did, those I love will be stronger for it. My role is to be there. Not to teach, nor advise. But encourage and support. Mostly, though, to just be there.

It feels a lot like waiting. And as I think back about my grandmother, I realise that she was often just there. Waiting. No, waiting is not the right word. She didn't display the anxiety I feel. She was always available because she had nothing better to do. She was a housewife with servants. She didn't work - just walked around the house, not even going out for mahjong or anything like that. She had no hobbies that I can remember. She lived life more simply than I think possible. We had our own parents, and so she neither cooked for us nor looked after us.

Surely a meaningless life if ever there was one. I've wondered why it is that God wants a place in our human hearts? His law was written in stone, transcribed into a bibliotheque and translated into several languages. And yet, none of these are as precious to him as a place in our hearts. We who live but for an instant and are soon dead. It is in that very instant that God wants to enter us. Not after we are dead and have all the time in the world to appreciate his wisdom. So transient and ephemeral is our lives here, and yet, this is exactly why Jesus died and why God made the universe and moved the seas.

I remember my grandmother and I think I catch a glimpse. She continues to live in me and to teach me. And so, all I can do is to see you go with tears in my heart and love in my eyes.

Save Palmer Road

I am constantly amazed by how much history still lingers in various places in Singapore and how little we Singaporeans know about these places. My current hobby horse is Palmer Road.

I did not discover Palmer Road of my own accord - I rarely do, being a rabbit and all, with my nose so often buried in the ground. I learnt about this through my work as a studio tutor and through my colleague, Dr Johannes Widodo. Unfortunately, you cannot access his paper "Preserving the Memory of Place: Case for Support for Palmer Road Area Conservation in Singapore", Journal of Asian Studies No.29 (2005) from the internet. Contact me, I'll pass you a copy. Another important paper on this matter can be downloaded from the internet: Palmer Road Foot Tet Soo Khek Temple, Archaeological Research Project Preliminary Site Report, version 1.4, 9th March 2006, by Lim Chen Sian.

I cannot do better than to quote these authors:

Tanjong Malang is one of the most important places in the history of early 19th century Singapore. It refers to the rock, where according to Munshi Abdullah, Raffles hung the body of Syed Yasin who stabbed Colonel Farquhar.

Widodo, p.2

Hmmm, anyone knows where Tanjong Malang is? It's near Tanjong Pagar. Beats me too.

Mount Palmer is not only the home of the Foot Tet Soo Khek Temple but also various historical institutions ranging from Fort Palmer, Keramat Habib Nor and the Parsee Burial Grounds of the 19th century, to those of a more recent nature, the former Singapore Polytechnic (1954, today Bestway Building) and the Chinese YMCA (c.1956, today Palmer House). Mount Palmer standing at 100 feet was the largest in the Telok Ayer group of hillocks (Map 2). It was used for fill in the second reclamation of the Telok Ayer Basin (c.1904-15), and was completely leveled save for a small knoll that still remains to the northeast and the rear of the temple. This remnant of the hill was part of the Parsee Burial Ground and purportedly the earliest tombstone was recorded to be from 1828.

Lim Chen Sian, pp 1-2

There are several Chinese Temples in Singapore of which the Foot Tet Soo Khek Temple is the second oldest. It dates back to the mid-nineteenth century. Archaeological work on the site only began in July 2005. Excavation work lasted only 17 days and 700 artefacts were found. The old Parsee burial ground was also discovered covered over with undergrowth on the southern terrace of Mount Palmer. Although exhumed before 1966, remains of the tombs still remain on the hillside.

The waliullah Habib Noh is a bona-fide saint of Singapore who foiled the British and did many miracles during his lifetime (and probably after). Though generally unnoticed, his keramat sits nobly on the hill visible each time you enter the East Coast Parkway via the Keppel Viaduct. My favourite story is this one:

" the British colonial masters. . . tried to put him in jail a number of times. However, after doing this many times, they finally gave up and left him alone. The reason? Each time he was arrested, and put in jail, he mysteriously disappeared from his cell and was seen outside walking free."

Let's save Palmer Road, ok?

are they not heroes still

are they not heroes still
who lagged behind
nursing lonely
broken hearts
their bitterness spilling
in cutting and splaying words
love is rarely kind

perhaps love is only duty
sacrifices unwillingly done
and smiles lie forgotten
in unpursued dreams
while you live yours
unwittingly
leaving their lives behind

are they not heroes still
if they are unremembered
invisible like dust in corners
who sweeps them away
we see only stars and glitter
the mournful poorly meek
who blesses their kind

if they are not heroes still

My Agony Aunt

Sometimes, I forget I am just a rabbit. You know, for us rabbits, it's eat, sleep, shit and do the rabbit thing. I mean hop around, O you filthy mind.

You humans have it good - better or worse is for you to judge. So, here's my little rabbit philosophy of life. Take it as you like.

Be amazed
It is one of life's great joys to be amazed by the world we live in. You can just look at the sunset, the flowers, the butterflies and feel the joy or you can enjoy the world through another's eyes - the arts, poetry, science and architecture. Rise above the fallacy that science is man's creation - it is not, it is man's approximate understanding of God. Science used to be called the Laws of Nature, and the wonder and attraction of science was because it revealed the mind of God (who said that?). Or you can study man's cultural knowledge - feng shui, yoga, and other mystical arts. Just do not be drawn into them. Keep your distance - these arts, like science, are only man's approximate understanding. And like science, if you are drawn too close, you can cause more harm than good.

Be happy
Happiness is our natural state. Children are happy until something happens to make them unhappy. And then they are happy again. Do not think you have to seek happiness. Nor despair if you are unhappy. Know always that you can overcome and that happiness is already given to you. Nothing is so bad you cannot make it worse. So don't. Avoid making things worse. Find back the happiness that belongs to you and help those who are unhappy to find it again.

Do your best
Life is meant to be exciting and challenging. You know that. Even as everyone else tells you to settle for what you can get, you hanker for more. Until you recognise this in you, you will be unhappy and you may do reckless things just to satisfy this yearning to be the best you can be. So, make up your mind to live your life. Don't worry about satisfying your parents nor letting them down. They love you and you are already good enough - despite what they may say.

Learn to love
There are those whose love is manifested through fear for us. They focus on what can go wrong, and then fixate on it in an attempt to avoid any possibility of failure. They deserve our love more than our censure. Be patient with them, for their vexation is the tip of their iceberg. There is so much more inside. If you can, let them unburden themselves. If you can keep your course and be gentle, they will come to see things more clearly. So will you.

In all these things, you will be challenged and you will find frustration and despair companions. They are your limits. Stay within them or push them a little. They may yield just to set up camp a little further way. It is in these ways that God draws us near.

To Becca with love

Dear Becca,

"But what happens when our parents keep wanting us to do well? Is love also about being satisfied?"

You ask a very good question. I can understand where you are coming from. Let me try to explain myself by painting 3 scenarios:

A father who is a successful businessman but who nurtured an ambition to become a doctor alienates his own children because his expectations were too high. As his children grew up, he tells me that none has made him happy. All disappointed him. His eldest he disowned because he married an Australian girl, his eldest daughter married a Chinese man but revealed each stage of her relationship only after it had happened, one of his sons failed all his exams and tried to commit suicide.

Another father is currently facing bankruptcy. Because of his difficulties, he nags his children. When his daughter failed her exam, he nagged her for a whole day. And then went to her school and confronted her teacher to try to do something about it.

A mother spends her life shuttling her only daughter everywhere - to school, to ballet, and so on. She compares her daughter with other children and tells her that she is sacrificing her life for her.

These stories are not uncommon and I am sure there are many more out there. You see, the tragedy is that while we do love one another, we don't know how to show this love. Believe me, should anything happen to any of these children, their parents will move heaven and earth to make it right again. Understand always, that the pressure you are going through comes from the love your parents feel for you. It also comes from one other simple fact: we parents cannot give you what we think you deserve, and we are scared as hell that you will not achieve what we think you should. We want a lot because we love you. And we pressure you because we are human, and are afraid for you.

The answer, dear Becca, is for you to be strong. Tell your parents that you are doing the best you can. Tell them you share their worries and understand where they are coming from. Thank them for worrying about you and tell them you love them. Reassure them just as they have reassured you when you were hurt or in pain. Trust me, they love you more than you will ever know. And you don't have to do anything to earn this love.

Yes, parents over-react. The only difference for me is that I tell my daughter to expect it. That it is not her that is to blame but me. But my unreasonableness is because my love for her is unreasonable. I do not believe I should restrain my love for her. But I do understand that it can be overwhelming. I try to help her handle that by explaining why it is so.

Sadly, not many parents understand this. Rather, they mistake your anguish for disobedience. Your need for space for lack of interest in your studies. Your unhappiness for a lack of concern for your own future.

It is rare that parents don't love their children wholeheartedly. It is rare that children don't try their best to please their parents. If only we understand this and accept our human unability to express our love well. I met a sales lady who took her children to see a psychologist because she felt her children were too happy about their bad grades. I told her if her children are unhappy, she better worry because they probably need psychiatric help. Children are by nature happy, and will avoid doing things that make them unhappy. That's why they don't want to study. They don't want to study not because they don't care but because they do care. They care about their parents opinion but they feel that they cannot satisfy the parents, and so they don't try. They think they are failures because their parents think they are failures. So, they naturally look for other things they can do well and they find happiness there. Help them. When they do well, they will like their studies more and will work harder. There was nothing wrong with her children. What was wrong was that the children did not find schoolwork enjoyable. And if they were doing badly, scolding them will make them like schoolwork less. Whenever Xin finds her schoolwork difficult, I will tell her to try studying another way - borrow a book from the library, or search out the internet. There are many many books out there that teaches any subject in an interesting way and makes it easy to understand and enjoy. Enjoy it and you will do well. (As an aside, whenever Xin does not do well, she diverts my nagging by saying that she feels worse than I do and my nagging will not help.)

Hang in there, Becca. We are here for you. You can be strong. Understand that your parents need you to be strong. Show them, tell them. I assure you that you are good enough and they do not expect more from you than what you want for yourself. Probably less, actually. Most people I know have high ambitions. If only their parents know this.

Love, brownpanda.
PS: What has "Till we have faces" to do with rationalizing God? I haven't read the book but from the reviews, I think it is probably too chim for me.
PPS: I'm not a big fan of Narnia. Only his explanations on Christianity, esp. Mere Christianity.

God, within reason

Or "What I believe and why."

I had originally planned to go through a series of blasphemies before addressing why I am a Christian, but events seem to have overtaken my plans. So what? What fun is there in following plans?

But the main reason why I am doing this is because I don't think that God meant 'religion' to be so mysterious and difficult. I think Jesus came here to show us that God meant to be close and real and everyday. The amazing thing, as any alchemist will tell you, is that the everyday is the most mysterious and hardest to understand of all. We have no cure for the common cold, we have no way to predict when and if it will rain, we cannot even define what is life satisfactorily. In a more personal and relevant sense, we know what we want in life but we don't know how to live it. We live to love but we don't know how (to love). A true and wise saying I came across puts it thus: Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.

This very difficulty with life, and with all aspects of life, is what convinces me that God must be. You see, difficult as it is, it is not easier the smarter you are, or the richer you are, or the stronger you are. Often, it is as if the foolish, the poor and the weak are the ones who are blessed and who can live their lives simply and fully. Take for example, music. We can all enjoy it and it is not those with the most intelligence or who does best in school who ends up as Kit Chan or Taufig. And yet, the greatest professors in the world cannot analyse nor decipher what makes a nursery rhyme works, let alone a symphony. This is why, when we find out something new or great, whether it is an invention, a story or a discovery, we are eager to share it. Because it is beautiful and amazing. And we are moved. We are happy. I think, through this, we have touched God - or more likely, vice versa.

This is very much like the intelligent design argument. With a small difference. I call my argument the divine intelligence argument. It is not so much that I believe this world must have been designed by an intelligent 'mind' but that the intelligence so revealed, revealed thus far, points to a 'mind' so profound that it is simply amazing and beautiful. It is an intelligence that can create a universe from a bang, music from a sine wave, and rule the world with strict order and yet reveal a chaos of even more beautiful order - an order defined by its own order or, if you like, a pattern made up of its own pattern. It is an intelligence that created a world in which its beauty and wonder can be enjoyed by even the smallest mind but beyond the understanding of the greatest.

To reason with God, and to find him constantly beyond our reason is, I believe, the whole point of our existence. It is not enough to accept life as it is, we are to strive for better things, to work and endeavour. To get closer to Him. And yet, it is not right to confine life to just what we can understand of it. We need to embrace the irrational, the unexpected and the inexplicable. It is through this that we see the majesty and mystery of God.

God is beyond our reasoning, yes, and yet if we cannot embrace him we have missed the purpose of our existence. Do not live with a version of God that you cannot understand, unless your lack of understanding comes from knowing him too well - as you might your parents, your children, your spouse and your loved ones. Neither should you define God and say he is this or that and not this nor that. Abide with him.

This is not as difficult as it might sound. Live your life. Seek love and give with love. Be the best you can be in all things. Enjoy your successes, and appreciate the beauty around you. Cry over your failures and disappointments. But arise from the ashes. Know deep in your heart there is God and he is with you. Hold tight to that thought and you will keep to the path. If you wander, come back. There is forgiveness and acceptance.

If you are smart, it is because you have been fortunate to be born that way, to have parents who care, and to go to the right school and be in the right circumstances. If your parents expect a lot from you, it is because they love you and for them, nothing is too good for you. Even if you have the world, they will want you to have more. Always remember this. If you are not so smart, should they be angry and expect you to work harder? Or, if you are even smarter, should they be satisfied and let you take life easy?

I have often wished that bosses will not ask if you are good enough but what you are good at. Ask the first question and you will find few who satisfies. Ask the second question and you open up a new universe of possibilities. So, ask.

Understanding God

"Holy Communion is the shortest and safest way to Heaven." Saint Pope Pius X

A good and wise friend once said he wasn't a Christian because he doesn't understand the Holy Trinity and all the complicated concepts Christians believe in. The argument is that if he, a scholar and an engineer, doesn't understand God, what hope do the more simple folk have?

I totally agree. God is not so hard to understand. There are many believers who are faithful and pious who are also simple people - mothers, fathers, children, friends. Lovers all. Why then is our religion so complex? I'm always heedful that Jesus often had harsh words for the Sadducees, Pharisees, Levites and the teachers of the Law.

A sure sign of truth, and which to me, points to God is simplicity. We are asked simply to love God and to love one another. What could be simpler? We yearn for love, to love and to be loved, and everything we are, everything we do reflects this truth.

And yet. . .God amazes us with beauty. Kant argues that beauty is universal, in that "it is an intrinsic part of the activity of such a judgment to expect others to agree with us." When we see something beautiful, like a rainbow, we point to it and say something like, "Look, a rainbow. Isn't it beautiful?" We normally wouldn't expect the person we're talking with to argue with us about it, or ask us to prove its beauty. Disagree, perhaps, but debate, no.

Like Einstein's Theory of Relativity. If he didn't reduce it to E=mc2, it wouldn't have the power of truth. It may be true, but it will lack its power. It's like music. Anyone not tone deaf can enjoy music. I even know of someone tone deaf who "sings" tonelessly but in rhythm. It was a delight to listen to - an exquisite form of rap. A babe in arms enjoys music. Heck, a foetus learns through music.

Mr A would like me to cite my references. But my aim is not to debate nor convince. Simply to share my amazement. We can all enjoy music but who amongst us can explain it? In the presence of wonder, we can only praise and celebrate. This I have tried to do.

I agree with the little people who say we should just obey and have faith. Absolutely. God demands nothing more. Nor less. And yet, he loves to amaze us. And turn our hearts with his wonders and his love. There is so much beauty in him that I cannot be but moved. I seek only to share this. And I worry that I have failed.

If I have something profound to say, it is this: be happy and know, there is God. Rejoice, for God loves us in our weakness, ignorance and foolishness. If Jesus expects us to forgive seventy times seven times, how much deeper is God's grace. I seek not to be clever but I hope I have been intelligent. For cleverness comes from God and intelligence lies in acknowledging him.

If I have given the impression that I am an intellectual, I am sorry. Love is anything but intellectual. And all I have shared, I hope mainly to have shared my love. The impression I want to leave is: Wow, isn't life great? Isn't the world beautiful? Isn't it wonderful to be in love? Everything else is secondary. Getting As, making money, the five Cs (unless you are talking about coffee, chocolates, cookies, cakes and [ice] cream), all these are not important. They are the fragrance of the flowers, not even the flowers, less still the path itself.

Someone once said that he doesn't want to become a Christian because sin is too much fun. No, I am not referring to St Augustine. But, the point is, God wants only fun for us. Anything that leads you away from happiness leads you away from God, and I don't mean the complex Christian concept of joy that surpasses all understanding. I mean sheer simple childish joy - the happiness of being alive.

I only seek to share my joy. *sigh* It seems that those who thought they didn't understand me understood me best.